Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Feeling a bit... disappointed :-/

In my year+ of obsessing over running and reading other people’s running blogs, I found it interesting that people seemed a little depressed/stir crazy after running their much anticipated event. I can completely relate now tho!

First of all, it is really hard to train for something for 6 months straight (in my case) and then not be able to run for a few days. Being lazy and not running is one thing, not being able or allowed to run is way worse! I know it is only Tuesday but I took Sunday off (as always) and Monday too. Even tho I felt like I would have been ok doing a few miles, I decided to play it smart and went for a long walk instead. Luke’s foot is bothering him from the race so I didn’t go by myself this morning and I am absolutely regretting it now because it is supposed to be rainy ALL DAY LONG today – yuck! I’m starting to get stir crazy and antsy for a run – slow and short is fine, I just need to get out there and do it! I might just have to brave the rain showers tonight if they are not so bad – 30 minutes is all I need to calm down and get out of my head!

On top of not running for a few days, I feel a little lost. Training occupied my thoughts daily for the past 6 months – whether I was running that day or not. It is weird that the much anticipated half marathon has come and passed and now I’m just in limbo. It is a weird feeling – good because you know you’ve accomplished something, but it leaves you a little empty/confused/lost at first.

So what is the best thing to remedy the way I am feeling? Sign up for another race of course! Haha.

We have 9.5 weeks until the Rehoboth Beach half marathon and once I get running again this week, I’m setting my sights on that fast and flat race. We were so close to our goal time in PA with all those hills so I know we can hit 2:30 or under in December at Rehoboth. It is weird being at the beginning again tho – feels a little strange/uncomfortable but hopefully once I get back into the swing of things and get out there, those weird feelings will go away and I’ll be in comfortable training mode again.

You definitely don’t need to race to have a reason to run but I also kind of feel like I let myself down in PA and need to redeem myself in Rehoboth. Stupid right? It was my FIRST RACE EVER and I honestly do feel like we did a great job, especially with it being rolling hills the whole way with 2 huge hills in the middle. I couldn’t have asked for a better race in those conditions. Logically I know I should be super proud of myself and just be happy… but there is a nagging voice in the back of my head saying “booo!!!”

I’m not just insane tho, I swear lol - I think it is that last 5k that is messing with my head. It was such a difficult 3.1 miles and even tho I’ve definitely run that slow before, I kind of HATED that part of the race because I felt the minutes ticking over our time goal and had to walk sooooooooo much and it kind of soured the experience for me. Somehow that last 38 minutes is pushing the first 10 miles of fighting hills and winning out of my head and makes me feel like I failed somehow – even tho I finished and was under my 12 min/mile pace over all. *sigh* So annoying but sometimes you just can’t help the way you feel, even if it doesn’t make logical sense, so hopefully getting back out there and hitting the road tonight will help me to just get over it, be happy with my accomplishment, and look forward to the next one. If not… well… I’ll keep the whining to myself and just move on lol.

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